I think everyone leaves their personal impact on family, friends, and the workplace. Those are exactly the three places where individuals have the most influence on other people. For almost everyone, their reputations with their families develop as they grow up - with the result being most families know their children extremely well. The same can't exactly be said of friends, i.e. people accumulate friends over time and sometimes, friends aren't always the same (the circle of friends changes). But even so, there are always the few friends that the individual will have known for a long while so there's reputation building between him and them. The same goes for the workplace, an individual builds up reputation and rapport between himself and his colleagues. A reputation is very dependent on how long a person stays or is fixed at a location. This is because that's the best way for people to get to know that individual. But a positive reputation is different - that depends on the individual's personality. So a reputation is one thing - a positive or negative one is something different.
For me, I think I have a strong reputation with my friends. I hang out with a lot of the same people I met during the first month of my freshman year so we have all known each other a long time. Through three and a half years of college, through everything, we still talk and meet up quite often. So not only do my friends know me very well, but I also know them very well. I like to think I have maintained a good and positive reputation amongst my friends. To that end, I can influence behavior if I chose to but I generally opt to form a consensus. The biggest and best example of this is during weekends when we decide to meet up and go to dinner. From past experience, I know it always takes a long time to find a place where we all would like to eat. Therefore, if I were to just say, "Guys, let's just go eat here" and I was adamant about it then we would all go. But I would rather have everyone have enjoy where they are eating rather than one person just choosing to go ahead and making a choice himself. At minimum, that also puts my reputation on the line if everyone didn't enjoy the food or something happened at the restaurant.
I don't consciously think about keeping my reputation intact or enhancing it exactly. I mean that just depends on how good of a friend you are and that's what I try to focus on. If one of my friends needs my help, I try to do my best to help them. Actually, a lot of my friends do come to me for advice, but I always wonder why. It may not necessarily be because I give good advice, but because I've known my friends for a while and they know me. So to answer the question, I guess I would just try to be a good person and a good friend, stay faithful to my character as a dependable individual. The restaurant example was one instance where I could have, if I wished, cashed in my reputation for an immediate gain. It would save time, but it's not who I am. That result also extends to other areas of my life - I wouldn't stake my reputation or cash it in for immediate gain. Although that might be a little different with my parents, i.e. sometimes I played the reputation card. But now that I've grown, I don't do that with anyone.
Usually when we say this person has a good reputation we modify that with "for behaving in some sort of way." Judging from what you wrote, I'd say you have a reputation for being laid back and going with the flow, but perhaps steering if you think things are getting out of hand. Alternatively, you may have a reputation for being reasonable and don't presume the outcome of a decision before it has been made.
ReplyDeleteThis may seem like not a lot, but if you do it in a steady way others will value it quite a bit. That may be one reason for why they come to you for advice. You'll help them work it through and not arrive at the conclusion until the evidence has been well reviewed and different points of view have been considered.
Doing that takes a lot of patience. That too is something that others admire and for which one can develop a reputation.